Venus' flytrap

I had called my friend Ahmedinho upon the second morning after Christmas. He was lounging upon the sofa in a purple dressing gown. Crumpled papers on a small table within his reach upon the right, and a pen on his hand. "Welcome Masanga." He gave the glad hand. "You couldn't have come at a better time. Look what I've got here, an electronic mouse. Though toys are only to be used by kids, I have a feeling they can be useful to adults in some cases.” I wasn't amused by toys, so I nodded to indicate to him its enough about it and we buried ourselves into catch up talk, as it had been six months since we saw each other last.

For months I have been bugging Ahmedinho to send me new stories because I was so much addicted. These were real life stories, I guess that was why many of us were drawn to them. Last time I was in Ratna square I witnessed first hand a motorcycle trick. He had given a ride to a hot girl that was perched behind him on the honda. Before they went, he kept releasing the clutch to initiate motion then holding the brakes cleverly to make the girl move on a forward motion and land her bosom on his back. When he did it fast a bit, the girl held on to her very tight. He smiled and winked at me as I laughed my heart out.

Very funny. Grown up boys develop these urges to hold a girl's hand, be seen strolling with her or just the pleasure of a hug. Its silly, but it gives a wonderful feeling. We come up with funny tricks to enable us extend an innocent touch to the girl. After all, we are men. We are the ones who are expected to make advances. We have to do something to get noticed by the girl first otherwise we will be sentenced to dreams. Anyway, He told me he had retired with the stories and was thinking about visiting a Gulf jobs agency to register and find a job overseas. Well it seemed I had to pay him a visit again and witness the love sagas for myself.

“There's a new girl in Ratna,” Ahmedinho told me. “Her name is Ruweida, they have just moved in to the last house on the corner. I tried to make a move yesterday while she was returning from the supermarket, but she showed disinterest.” Post secondary school holiday was an idle time we had to have fun, travel the country and hook up with new dames. At first I thought Ahmedinho was after this girl because of boredom, but later found out he really liked her. What was he going to do if the girl doesn't?

I had the chance of seeing this talk of the town Ruweida in the evening while she was going out. She was something. Not so short and she had a good African behind. Her face was pretty and peaceful, and she walked slowly as a person who thinks into life so much. Ahmedinho stopped to greet her again and told her that his sister was interested in having her as a new friend. Where is your sister now? Ruweida asked. Oh, she has gone to town but if you don't mind, tomorrow is Sunday. She could take you to Mombasa beach which is our nearby retreat every Sunday. Ahmedinho replied. She agreed suspiciously and then went away.

The day after, I was eager to see which sister of him had agreed to go out with Ruweida to pun on a good word for my friend. Shortly after two in the the afternoon, Ahmedinho disappeared into the bedroom and then came out a very beautiful angel. I was surprised. No one else had entered that bedroom since yesterday when I came. This girl. This beautiful girl.... She had a long dress that went down to her ankles. A tightened strip to mark where the waist was. Her hair was not so long and the face looked exceptionally smooth. She had however hidden those sexy eyes behind dark shades of spectacles. I had to look at her ten times to realize that it was not a girl. It was him, Ahmedinho, up to a new trick. He had shaved clean his beard and moustache, put on some sponge material in his chest to take the place of breasts. He had even applied some make up to perfect his guise. I swayed my head sadly. Theater had lost a fine actor, even the literature world had lost a good short story writer when he decided to become a truck driver chasing sandstorms in the desert of The Middle east.

Ahmedinho's sister was himself. He went to pick up Ruweida and after a ten minutes Matatu drive we were on the beach. I kept myself far from them lest she should suspect anything. They seemed to enjoy. He bought her juice and groundnuts that hawkers sold on the shore. The purpose of this adventure must have been to get inside information about the girl. Her likes, dislikes, hobbies, et cetera. They laughed and strolled and played with the sand. But did not get to swim in the ocean. Close to sunset, they were on their way back. Ahmedinho escorted her to her door. They hugged, and it seemed a very hearty hug. She had accepted Ahmedinho's sister in her heart very fast. But after a minute I saw Ruweida pushing him apart. She seemed perplexed and angry and she was stealing glances at Ahmedinho's abdomen. I found out what happened and couldnt stop myself from laughing. Ahmedinho's snake could not resist the feelings that roamed from the beautiful girl to him during the hug and Mr. Ahmedinho rose up!

How surprising the lengths boys go to get to impress girls. All that effort, just to get to know what to do so that she would like him. It was a sad evening. We tried movies and music videos but he seemed far away from this planet. I tried to cheer him up. “At least you know some things and secrets about her. You can use them to push the right buttons and make her forgive you.” I suggested. We slept past midnight. And when I woke up in the morning, Ahmedinho was not in the sitting room. He came back at around 10 looking happy, I knew he had gone to talk to Ruweida and he was finally forgiven. “Ruweida is coming for lunch here.” He told me. For the next half an hour, we tried to clean the rooms and put everything in order because Ruweida said she would be early because to cook for us.

She arrived on time and Ahmedinho introduced me by name Abdalla Mwidadi, Nickname: Masanga. We had an early lunch of Macaroni and minced mutton. Then I retired to the bedroom to give them space. Something alien came into my head after fifteen minutes. It was curiosity. And it sent me to the bedroom door to peep at Ahmedinho and Ruweida. Just in time, I saw his hand back on the sofa releasing the electronic mouse. In a minute, the mouse was on sight and Ruweida jumped up on the sofa and Ahmedinho rose up too to hold her. She cried about the mouse while Ahmedinho consoled while she was in his arms. He must be really enjoying this, I thought. “Don't worry my dear, nothing will happen to you, I'm here.” said Ahmedinho with a deep brave voice. Ruweida didn't feel safe and she took one cushion and jumped with it to the mouse. Cracking sound was heard. After raising the cushion up, the toy was exposed. And the schemer too.

I wondered why Ahmedinho did not stop with the tricks if the girl had accepted friendship. He started apologizing again. He explained to her that he had done all that because he had fallen in love with her. He wanted to be ahead of the competition in Ratna and win her first. He gave a very serious look and seriously said he loved her. Ruweida nodded and replied that if Ahmedinho did this to her extended hand in friendship, what more worse could be awaiting her deep in the perceived relationship? She finally said with a sad tone “Ahmedinho, good bye.”

"But.......'' Ejaculated Ahmedinho as he was raising up. His head turned east then west, he raised his hands up as a person who has been deeply hurt. With a thud, he fell down on the floor and his legs kept kicking for a minute. Ruweida rushed to him to see what had happened to him. She then called my name loudly "Masanga! Masanga!'' Without hesitating, i rushed into the sitting room and saw my friend lying down in a pitiable state as if he had fainted. She was dead worried and kept asking "what is it? Should we call a doctor? Does this occur to him often?'' I suggested to Ruweida that she should try mouth to mouth. Its a first aid procedure, known to work, and I knew my friend is dying to get it. Ruweida said she doesn't know that procedure and asked me to do it. I did not. To me who knew my pal very well, was sure that he had neither fainted nor anything was wrong. Ruweida told me she can’t wait and she was going to look for help immediately. In a few seconds Ahmedinho rose up. "Oh Masanga, this is the greatest failure i have ever experienced after playing all my top cards. I don’t feel good now, and i think I'll hate this place for sometime. I'm going away for a few months to relax and hide. You can remain here for as long as you like but I have to disappear.''

I thought of this heartbreaking piece of drama which had just happened, and the funny nature behind it. until the comical side of it overpowered any feeling of pity that i burst into a roar of laughter as Ahmedinho was making an exit from the apartment. From that day i kept advising every person who comes my way to seek an opinion about my accomplice Ahmedinho to "watch out! he is a very good actor. And next time................ he might act on you.”