The saga ends.... (Do for love)

A week had passed without seeing Zuhura. She did not get out to sit in front their house, neither went to the shop. I had decided to go see how she is doing that Sunday. Her mum greeted me respectfully on the door and let me in. She called Zuhura from her bedroom who took some time to come to the sitting room. “What do you want?” she asked me. There was no happiness on her face and she seemed fed up. “I brought you these flowers.” I said while handing her. She took and placed them on a stool beside her then looked at me with a face that asked, is there anything else? I fidgeted for some minutes then I told her I was concerned. I just came to see how she was doing.

I had trouble getting sleep that night. I could not bare the thought that she was hurting because of me. Deep down inside, I discovered I had a tender spot for her. Its true, I like her so much. But what can I do if she doesn't want to hang out with me? I thought for long then experiences of greater things people had done for love came to me.

The things people do for love are sometimes insane and confusing. Some easy, some hard to understand. I have seen my friends change religion for love. Men and women, but mostly women. They  usually face an embargo from their families for sometime but the hatred dies down when the love seem unshaken.

In Kisauni, where we lived before migrating to Magongo, I had a charming friend who tricked me with her pregnancy once. Friends who knew about it warned me early because I sure was falling for the cutey's charms. She miscarried and later fell for another guy. It was a romeo and Juliet relationship for them and everybody knew in the area. After seven months, the guy dumped her for another girl. One evening when I arrived from town, I was told that she poured paraffin on her body then lighted herself up. Some neighbors went with blankets to help put off the fire on her. She was rushed to hospital having severe burns.

I have also seen some taking advantage of their lover's pockets. They spend a lot of their lover's money buying unnecessary things. Those who are ripped off see it all, but they just keep silent because they believe that's good for love.

People leave their families and friends if they don't approve of the love they found in a man or a woman. The worst i have seen, and stupid, is a person and her lover collaborating to kill her brother. Your lover tells you kill, and you do it. I have seen so much first hand, leave alone the movies and Romeo Juliet stories. When one truly loves, they reach limits that are surprising and abnormal. Its a fire burning inside which we are afraid of  letting it die.

Many people demand a proof of love. If you really love me, pay for my college. If you really love me, pay my house rent. If you love me, beat that guy. Prove your love for me by marrying me. If you really love me, you will do this for me? This was my time, it has reached me. What should I do to make Zuhura accept me?

I thought of money, it was a bad idea. And I didn't have much because I wasn't earning. I gathered my courage after three days and went to see Zuhura again. I had heard some people say “The truth shall set you free.” So I was determined to say it all to her. “Zuhura, the main reason I resorted to the jealousy game was to win you. I though if you saw me with another girl, you would feel something in your heart and come running back to me.” I told her. “You are stupid.” she replied. “I liked you. I wanted you to love me truly. And I know one who waits is truly in love. Those who want to rush to bed are not in love, they just want to fulfill their lust.” I told her I'm ready to wait now. I will wait for as long as necessary. I just want to end up with you in the end. She looked at me sadly then said, it has all gone away now. When I look at your face, I remember the party day. And I see Anne's face underneath yours. I can still hear the sweet groans penetrating through the wall.”

I had nothing to say after that heartbreaking speech. I stood up and returned home. It seemed an impossible quest to win her now. There was disappointment and love in my heart. I thought of taking poison to drink it in front of her but then I got scared. I would be calling a bluff, but what if she dares me to proceed? I thought of New things that I see on computers. New technology inventions we see on movies. There was a lot I had not seen in this world. I haven't even traveled out of Africa and here I was thinking about ending my life. I would like to see new things that will come in the future. Have fun. I wasn't ready to leave this Earth. But would I continue living sadly while the love of my life is not here beside me?

I loved her. Why couldn't she see that? I wanted to share this life with her. I wanted her to lay on my chest while I enjoy the love and intimacy. I wanted to be committed to her and she sees how devoted I was to us. I wanted to make her happy and ward off any wind of sadness that blew her way. I found myself sitting in front of Zuhura's home when all these thoughts were oscillating in my mind. Her mum saw me there and she called her out.

She came to sit beside me but I couldn't utter any word. “We can still be friends.” she finally said. But I continued being silent. I didn't want that, just being friends. We sat there for about half an hour then I threw out a challenge, somehow to myself. I asked Zuhura to tell me anything that she would want me to do for her. “Say anything. Even the one you think I wouldn't want to do in a thousand years. And I would do it.” I told Zuhura while tears were dripping down from one of my eyes. “I love you, and unfortunately I don't know of any way to prove it to you. Help me please. Tell me anything you want me to do and I would do it for you to take me back in your arms.” I was on my knees by now.

There was sympathy on Zuhura's face. She held me up and hugged me before sitting close again. She put her arms around my shoulder, then she said: I know you love me. I cannot think of anything to tell you to do. I care for you and have loved you since we have been friends for long. But I'm afraid its not romantic anymore. I could ask you to undo what you did with Anne, but its impossible. I could ask you to erase the voices and faces of Anne in my head but you are not a Magician. I guess we just have to leave things just the way they are. Lets be content with what we have. And I'm sure some day, you will find another girl to give all that love. With me, it will never happen. I'm sorry.