The dot com lady has decided that she
wont put out unless she gets a few meals from you. In the olden days,
only the spice in your language mattered. I do not like to think of
myself as a non reformer. So as soon as the new tradition started
circulating, I embraced it willingly. Though at the time I wasn't
getting pay cheques every end month.
There was this friend of mine who I
kissed once. She seemed shy and I suspected she liked me. So I called
her after earning some few shillings from a one day hard temporary
job. We agreed I'd pick her up on Wednesday for dinner. On that
night, at her apartment, she asked me if her roommate could join us.
The roommate was already getting ready while smiling, at me. I didn't
want to, but I agreed. There was also another boy who was talking to
them. When we got out, all were in the convoy to the nearby Olympic
restaurant, which was at a walking distance from her apartment.
We got to the restaurant and the two
ladies ordered chips-chicken. The guy ordered a soda and I asked for
a soda too. I was worried the bill might be more than what I had in
my pocket. Throughout the “dinner”, I was very uncomfortable. I
had planned to open up to this lady tonight, tell her about my
feelings for her. What shame will befall me if I failed short on the
bill? I rose up before they were done and headed to the cashier.
Didn't want anyone to see what was in my pocket. Paid up the bill and
remained with my fare back home. After seeing them back to their
apartment, I said to myself I wouldn't allow that situation happening
again to me. I felt used and taken advantage of.
That was about ten years ago. I tried
hard not to be ambiguous when meeting women after that. A month ago,
I had to meet this pretty girl whom I had just been chatting with
over Whatsapp. The meeting was to do her a service. A favor. Since I
had only a few weeks remaining to return back to my job in the Middle
east, she wanted me to take some things to her sister who also works
there. Being a precaution man, I arranged for us to meet at 5pm. ACK
restaurant Likoni at Five in the evening because I knew lunch would
be over and dinner would still be far.
I arrived there first and stationed
myself on the drinks section above the swimming pool. When she
arrived, she sat In the restaurant, called and told me the swimming
pool section is boring. I went inside the restaurant and we talked
for some time. When the waiter came, she ordered for chips-chicken.
For God's sake its 5pm! She asked me why I just ordered a drink and I
told her I had taken my lunch at home. She said she hadn't. Anyway, I
just let it be because money is not a problem now. I pitied her when
she asked the waiter to wrap up her half eaten food. This is charity,
I consoled myself that I will be rewarded in the hereafter for this.
Yesterday, a girl I have been flirting
with over the internet agreed to meet me after promising her Biriani
for lunch. We knew each other since we were both in the same computer
college. But the busy life after that made it hard for us to meet
except over the internet. The itinerary was;- Meeting at Mombasa
beach at eleven in the morning, stroll on the beach, talk, maybe
swimming a little then head to a restaurant for the biriani.
She arrived two hours late. I had
already grown impatient and thought it was a prank. I was relieved to
see her arriving alone, thought a chaperon would accompany her. She
had grown more beautiful since the last time I saw her. Killer eyes,
sunshine smile and the extra meat on her hips showcased her sexy
nature. We strolled on the low tide waters for an hour catching up on
life and friends. We saw tadpoles, sea urchins and crabs on the
little sea ponds. We asked about a glass boat cruise and were told it
costs a thousand and two hundred for two hours. Then her phone rang.
Her friend, who was also my friend because she was with us in college
spotted us at the beach. I asked myself what kind of a coincidence is
this? Who comes to the beach on a Monday noon? We went to meet her
and after a few minutes she rested on a shade giving us a chance to
continue walking on the beach and privacy.
We sat three hundred meters away on a
low coral rock where there were no passers by, and I started pouring
my heart out. Time was against me. I told her of how I have liked her
for a long time and this was the time to start a relationship and
take it further. She kept smiling shyly. Then she told me that I'm
not her type. She told me she has a boyfriend in Nairobi who was a
Mechanical engineer. He gives her everything, and that's why she has
an inflated cute figure. I stepped up the sweet talking but she kept
rising up and leaving our hideout while I'm in the middle of
sentences. This frustrated me, but I maintained my cool. I listened
while she blew her trumpet. She asked me to look at her very well,
“what class do you think I am? I have my businesses and don't
depend on anyone. I have been very busy that's why it has been hard
to get a date with you. Tomorrow I'm going with my cousins to a beach
hotel in South coast. Day after that I have an appointment with a
rich friend in Watamu. I'm supposed to fly to Nairobi on new year's
eve to meet my boyfriend. My kind of men are those that send my heart
thumping fast against my ribs, they are breathtakingly handsome.”
her eyes rolled teasingly while she said this. What was she doing
with me if she was in a happy relationship? I asked myself. She has
forgotten that the reason she gave out for being late was that it
rained in her muddy neighborhood of Mishomoroni, and there were
streams which she had to wait for them to dry so as to come. She also
didn't know I knew exactly where she worked and how much she earned.
On her last stunt of standing, she
asked me to follow her to where our friend was resting. She then
inquired about the lunch, saying that now she wants pizza and not
biriani. I pleaded with her that I wasn't finished yet with our
conversation but she proceeded. I thought she was joking but after
five minutes when I stood up to check on her, she was a good two
hundred meters away heading to the direction of our friend.
I decided to take the opposite
direction. It was around three kilometers to Nyali beach along the
coastline but I was determined to give her a rude surprise. I
switched off my phone and headed southwards slowly. As I was walking
away, I remembered the biriani promise and I couldn't help laugh
hysterically to myself like a mad man. Poor her. I refuse to be used
again by girls into giving out free meals. She didn't get the glass
boat ride which we talked about, she didn't get the biriani, and she
didn't get her transport back home which she claimed to be five
thousand shillings. I thought of when I'll turn my phone back on and
I had a perfect story to text her;- You wont believe it my dear.
after you left I decided to take a brief swim. Ten minutes in the
waters and a sea urchin pierced my foot. It was so painful that I
lost my balance and was throwing hands confusedly. Two white men came
to my rescue. I was carried inside the Bahari beach hotel to have a
rest, where they also gave me some painkillers. The hotel owner felt
pity for me and he ordered his driver to take me back home. I just
realized my phone went off but we are now aboard a ferry in Likoni.
End of story.
