The living room was a different room
today. As I pushed the door behind me, I felt like I mistakenly
entered a neighbor's apartment. I recognized the sofa, wall unit and
the TV and knew I had to be in the right place. I smiled, how foolish
of me to think I was elsewhere while it was my key that opened the
door? The curtains were different though. Creamy white with three
pictures of tulips on each. The air was filled with an exotic
middle-eastern scent. It was oud. She must have inquired about
these from her Swahili friends because if its a matter of sweet
scents, I expected her to use western perfume or strawberry flavored
spray. I could hear the soothing sounds of Celine
Dion from the Stereo system. In a low voice. Romantic, that
compliments the light blue dim lights.
Earlier in the late afternoon I had
text-ed Joan to inform her of my good news. I had been promoted to a
supervisor and was stuck in a meeting of supervisors and the
operations manager. I had to inform Joan that I would be late because
I had promised to pick her up at her place for a movie out. I didn't
expect the room to change, I thought a few drinks were enough for a
celebration. It wasn't so much a big deal, just a supervisor.
Clearly, Joan was not with me on this thinking.
After Fifteen minutes of being sucked
into the mood set, she emerged from the bathroom. Wrapped around her
was only a towel. She said hi with a big smile then entered her
bedroom. She wasn't surprised seeing me standing there because she
knows I have a copy of her keys. It was nearly ten thirty. She came
back wearing a long black skin tight with a white vest.
Congratulations, she said then gave me her sugar lips for some
seconds. She then went to the kitchen and brought Ugali, beef
stew and spinach. Half an hour later we had finished eating and were
slowly drinking Fanta Orange soda.
I was happy without words. I understood
tonight's romantic setting to be a prelude to a good love making
later. I was so fond of this girl. She was kind, has a good sense of
humor, independent and a smokin' body. We met through Facebook and
had been friends for about a year. Two months ago, We became friends
with benefits without even realizing it ourselves. The liking between
us was evident and we so much enjoyed each others company. At first
it was weekends, but later the frequency increased to every other
day. If she did not call, I would. To plan where we would hang out
after work. We became very good friends to a point of exchanging
keys. Maybe some few months later and we'll move in together. But for
now, I was comfortable with where the relationship stood.
At around eleven thirty, I told her I'm
retiring to bed. I expected her to follow but she continued watching
a Mexican soap opera on the Television. I took a quick shower and
went back to make myself comfortable on her bed. Half an hour later
when she came, she asked why I wasn't asleep yet? “I'm waiting for
you.” I said to her In a faint voice to be romantic. Winked an eye
on her and motioned my left hand for her to come. She came to me,
threw her weight on my chest, then kissed my forehead. She then told
me to excuse her for today because she doesn't feel like it.
The mood in the house and the heavy
meal had sexually charged me. I couldn't believe my ears. At first I
thought she was joking but when I looked at the expression on her
face, she was serious. I had high hopes and was surely ready for
tonight. I was promoted today, I deserved a celebration. I had to ask
her what was the point of all this? She said it was to celebrate. And
it shows that she cares for me. And that there were many ways of
showing care and love without putting out. I didn't want to argue,
but I felt emotionally betrayed. It felt kind of an entrapment. As
cruel as taking a mule to the river and refusing him to drink the
water.
She laid beside me in bed and asked
“are you angry with me?” I told her No. but she didn't know the
amount of disappointment I carried in my heart. “Come on, spoon
me.” she said. She must be joking, I thought. At this time, I was
supposed to think of the dirt in Kibarani, commotion at
Kongowea Soko and any other ugly thing to tone down the
heightened feelings. How would that be possible by spooning her?
Women are strange creatures. They can
do things just for the sake of it. They can plant a tree of flowers
and never pluck them when ready. They will dive their noses to the
flowers that hang on the treeto smell. Men have to pluck those
flowers and do something with them. I spooned her for five minutes
then withdrew. I told her I'm persevering so much and it will be
torture if I continue to spoon her. She was disappointed too and
turned on her right ribs facing the window. I watched that hourglass
curvature body from near. Without a doubt, she was the most sexiest
friend I had ever slept with. Her skin was of black lustre. Though I
was mad a little, I couldn't afford breaking it off with her. I knew
I would be throwing away so much.
Looking at her back was throwing me
into fantastic roller-coasters. I turned to face up. I tried to have
a conversation with the ceiling but I soon got bored. I looked at
other things in the room at least to help me move time until sleep
catches up with me. There was the big cupboard, Fan on the ceiling,
Dressing table, and some art pictures on the walls. After half an
hour, she called out my name. We were both finding it hard to get
some sleep. I decided to ask her, whats up with Cuddles, snuggling
and girls? I find it so much feminine. Men only like it because it
leads to a higher ground. But you girls could cuddle for hours
without getting tired. She said they like it. It helps to get in
touch with our feelings, she continued. There is chemistry when skins
touch and we girls read a lot from that touch. Men who cuddle us
understand us. They care for our feelings and cuddling brings the
feeling of togetherness. Like its just the two of us in the whole
world. I smiled at her explanation but in my brain I was retorting
“what a load of crap!”
Men would never understand the feminine
interpretation of snuggling. We would do it to please our partners
but we don't really like it if done for more than half an hour. Here
I was, moved closer again to Joan for spooning knowing very well that
she wont put out tonight. But I still did it. The hairs on my skin
were screaming. My body was warm, outside and inside. On the inside,
it felt like a spring of hot water was traveling through my veins and
organs. I was burning and yearning. I kissed Joan on her neck and she
said in a low voice “i love you Dinho.” it was her first time
telling me that. And because the usual answer of I love you is I love
you too, I also said it to her. Though, that was not what I was
feeling at the time.
Tonight was lost. I had to pretend I
was okay with being touchy-feely, tender, feminine. Most girls want
those sensitive qualities in men and we have to act like we are in
order to win them. Soon I will drift into a dreamy sleep where the
hot body of Joan that I'm spooning will feature in. and I hope the
dream will help me lose the tension and stress that I currently feel
to wake up with a sincere broad smile tomorrow morning. “Gu9t my
sweet”, “Nyt nyt hun.” and darkness clouded our eyes.
